The Caravan Chronicals - Funny Stuff.

GimmeMy1985

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My whole life we had busses. First the VW bus when i was a child, and then a 1992 Dodge Caravan, and then the most recent one my mom has bought is a 2000 Dodge Caravan.

Now, the VW bus was good and all, great for those Winnipeg Drive in Movie Theaters, but we had to let it go when it started to fail in performance after over 30 years of constant use.

I was about.... 14 when we bought the 1992 Caravan. It was blue, had the typical paint chips in the front, 200 thousand kilometers, but it was a reliable ride and my mom did not like being ¨too close to the ground¨.

SO, We bought it from an auto dealer for I think 3200.

And in the 4 or so years we had it, it was stolen 5 TIMES.

5 times did the Caravan somehow use its somehow appealing beauty to lure un-expecting people and turn them into car thieves. Perhaps it was the rust and paint chips, I have no idea.

This most recent time was a few months ago, i walked out of my mothers work, going to grab the caravan, to find a troupe of 5 or so kids pulling at the door handles and picking at the key slot. I dropped my coffee right there and watched them for a bit, laughing uncontrollably. After a few minutes i walked up to them and asked, quite simply

¨What the hell are you doing?¨

I found it even funnier when i saw the car beside us was a brand new Lexus.

Some of the kids ran, but what looked like the oldest one stopped and turned to me with a rather cocky smirk.

¨You want this old, rusted, rotting, stained tin can?¨ He smiled at me, ¨Maybe.¨

I rubbed my temple in anticipation, biting my lip, ¨I can guarantee you that we are not hiding Krugerrands in the back seat, if that is what you are looking for.¨

With that i referred him to get a job at McDonalds and I would even sell him the Caravan for 25 bucks, paint chips included so he could piece the hood back together with scotch tape like a massive, delicate puzzle of cheap metallic blue coat.


What... Is it.. about the old, smelly Dodge Caravan that turns people to LUST when they see it?

Does it have any valuable parts or converters? No. Did it even have a CD player? No. Was there any money in the car? No. Was there any clothes in the car? No.

Just old coffee cups and questionable stains.


Just recently we retired the 92 after years of unprecedented cross country service when the oil valve warped and began to hit the bloc as mother did not put oil in it, forgetting that the meter was broken.

She picked up a 2000 DC for 1300 a month ago.

Now it is time for an experiment in human nature.

~Lynch
 
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What about a Dodge Shadow that is also on that list.

Often times cheap/crappy cars make that list. Often thiefs look for unsuspecting vehicles to transport crap in. A Lambo would be a bad pick ;)
 
A lot of times, the vans are used to go steal motorcycles because they can just toss them in the back, and no one thinks that anyone would want to steal a mini-van so they are less likely to get caught. Still funny as heck, haha.
 
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