64 WAYS TO PISS OFF A COP

J

joeychgo

Guest
64 WAYS TO PISS OFF A COP


1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no
blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my
speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if
mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a
hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice
way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw
yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me
dinner first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on
your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's
the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I
just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration,
please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't
hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. Then ask to use his
pen to sign the ticket.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name
sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him
how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded. (Women do this well, it is
called "Going Blonde")

32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him,
quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
( This goes good for Frank Schlupp)

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here
tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite
Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my
car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in
tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with
that.

59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner,
suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62.Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.

64. Ask him if you have seen him before, and then say "yes I know
now, it was at that Gay Bar? You were the entertainment" or like.
 
RE: 64 WAYS TO PISS OFF A COP

How about, every time a cop walk's in your place of business say as loud as you can " I did'nt do it", or "hey, the guy you are looking for is over here", then point to your buddy. Better yet, grab your young child, point at the cop and say "if your not good, he is going to handcuff you and take you away".

Some of those are really funny by the way.
 
RE: 64 WAYS TO PISS OFF A COP

I think you can add # 65 and # 66 to you list now that being "flamark" and "Zebra" have read them.

OOPS......
http://members.cybernetisp.net/scott/stop1.jpg

** Bill **
1995 LSC-R'ed w/Recaro's and Cobra R's
Veteran of Carlisle 2000/01/02
[a href=//cardomain.com/member_pages/view_page.pl?page_id=258112]For Pic's and Mods click here[/a]
 
RE: 64 WAYS TO PISS OFF A COP

Nice!!!

I like the sneak-a-roo trick. Once the officer gets out of his car and starts to walk over to your window, sneak out the passengers door, run into the police car, and take off!!
 
RE: 64 WAYS TO PISS OFF A COP

you guys are too silly.
but that is funny, got #67 for you
when you get pulled over and give him your lisence, snatch it back
and say "ooops wrong one."
hehe
 
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