Remember listening to Mr. Skelton on the radio before we had TV, he was a "GREAT COMEDIAN".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days,
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
- 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
- 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
- 3. I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.
- 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
- 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" . . . .So I bought her an electric chair.
- 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
- 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
- 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" ...The driver said "No, jump in!"
- 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
- 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
- 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
- 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days,
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word