Perfect Marriage

driller

El Presidente
Staff member
Remember listening to Mr. Skelton on the radio before we had TV, he was a "GREAT COMEDIAN".



RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE​

  • 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
  • 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
  • 3. I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.
  • 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
  • 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
  • 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" . . . .So I bought her an electric chair.
  • 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
  • 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
  • 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" ...The driver said "No, jump in!"
  • 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
  • 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  • 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
  • 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days,
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word
 
I actually met the man many years ago in a restaurant bar in Iowa of all places. Pretty funny guy in person as well as performing on stage.
 
I liked watching Red Skelton when I was a kid. It is true humor was different then. It was not about pushing the boundaries of good taste.
 
I've always liked Red.

I think it was more like the sixties. I remember watching him on a black and white television.

I remember seeing the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show in 1964.

Boy, am I old.:eek:
 
I remember when they started advertsing "The oldies from the '70s", I asked who the hell decides what is "oldies"?

You will ask too one day. :p

I am sure in ten years there will be "easy-listening rap stations." People then will also looked upon iPods as antiquated devices, just as Walkmans, the in-devices of the eighties, are thought of as outdated now.
 
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