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John Phillips suggested some new rules to boost NASCAR ratings:

1. At any time, fans may throw car batteries, riding mowers, or any object made of glass onto the track.

2. One grandstand must be reserved exclusively for alcoholics.

3. All cars must be capable of 300 mph.

4. A lottery will be conducted to choose 3 RV owners to compete in any 10 laps of the race.

5. Each pit crew must employ one simian which must perform a vital pit function.

6. 5 cars will be randomly selected to compete in snow chains.

7. Any disabled cars can only be replaced by a car from the official rental car agency of NASCAR.

8. On an undisclosed lap, a skull-and-crossbones flag will be flown to signal that the race will immediately proceed in a clockwise direction.
 
Common mistake of NASCAR rules.

1. you can not throw a riding lawnmower on the track. (push mowers are ok)
2. ALL stands are reserved for alcoholics. (anyone else can watch it on TV)
 
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