child custody?

RE: child custody?

Quit the second job? Here's the reasoning behind that. Purchased a house about three years ago. With both our incomes there was no problem paying for mortgage. A year later she quits her job because its too stressful and she can't handle it. She doesn't look for another job. At that time we had enough to keep us going for a little while. About six months later, "I'm pregnant". I get another job to pay for all the bills and the house (don't worry I'm the only one on the house). I tried refinancing but I haven't been able to knock the payment down much. Mostly because my income to debt ratio is too large so I can't get the best rates (I have a lot of student loans). So if I give up the second job I'd have to get rid of the house soon. I thought about roommates but I think I'd still have to claim that as additional income.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"

RE: child custody?

Sharon,

I'd never do that. I wanted for the ex and daughter come live in the house and let us lead separate lives. I figured I'm home maybe 4 hours a day to sleep except on the weekends. She won't do it because she thinks its torture.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"

RE: child custody?

It's not funny for anyone to live in poverty. Not a woman & child whose husband & father dodges child support, nor the man who has an arbritary percentage of his income taken, with out regard to the income of the other party. Then when he gets a second job to have something for himself be taken to court to have the amount increased.

You're already supporting the child and doing the correct thing by keeping verifiable records. I did not mean to quit the second job to keep from supporting your child. But if it comes to the point that you go to court, the amount you're ordered to pay will be based on what you're earning NOW. If you become unable to work the second job or lose it, it's next to impossible to get a decrease.

I think it's admirable that you're supporting your child and want to be involved in her life, so many guys your age don't. You'll definately be rewarded with her love and respect in the end

RE: child custody?

You may think that you are the only one on the house. If the title company wants her signature, she has you by the short hairs. If she tries to raise ANY kind of a stink and the title company finds out about her, they will want her signature before they will put a title policy on the house, which is necessary for the buyer to get a loan to purchase the house. I fought and lost that battle. It was give her what she asked for or no sale.

RE: child custody?

I had her sign off of the house when I refinanced. She had to sign some forms to remove her name from the house and loan.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"

RE: child custody?

Lee, I agree with you. And I admire you, because I can tell how much your kids mean to you. I know you would not let that happen, and from what I know of David, he wouldn't either.

I never went back for an increase in child support - I didn't have the money, and by the time I could afford to do it, I just really didn't care anymore.

It's a touchy subject for me still (who knew - I thought I was over it), but for the rest of you guys, I know deep down inside you wouldn't want the kids to suffer, and that has to be kept in mind, because like it or not, the kid's well being is tied to the mom's.

Sorry, I know all the situations are different, and there are some women who are just out to get more money and screw over their ex's, but some women do really just want what's best (or what they believe is the best) for their kids.

RE: child custody?

Trixie, I agree that he should not expect his child to live in poverty. That would be a terrible thing to do. But by the same token, it is not his responsibility to pay for the house she lives in. She should pay for her own house. All she needs is a two bedroom. He should be paying for half of the child's expenses. Each party should be able to support themselves. Most guys down here pay 800 to 1200 per month. Are you going to tell me that it costs 2400 per month to raise a child? If so, you are expecting way too much and spoiling the child. Especially when you add in that the dad pay's for health insurance and school on top of that.

For some reason this country has decided that the mother should live in a nice middle class neighborhood while the father lives in an apartment to pay for it. If a woman cant afford to live in a place suitable for her child then maybe the father should have primary custody with the woman having visitation. She could use the time to take classes to make more money and better support her child.

Why is it that we think a child must have a high standard of living. My father grew up in one of the poorest neighborhood's in chicago. His parent's raised him right and never allowed him to get out of control. He went to lane tech on scholarships based on his hard work. He is a millionair today becouse of how he was raised, not becouse of the money his parents had.

RE: child custody?

Dave -- gimmie a hollar. I know alot about this subject here in Illinois....... I also know a few lawyers. Unfortunately / fortunately things are pretty concrete as far as how much support will be. But, I know a few things which can be very helpful to you.