child custody?

J

Jibit

Registered
Anyone out there know anything about child custody? Don't have any problems as of yet but I want to be prepared if they arise. I guess I'd like to know more about visitation more than anything. Can someone point me in the right direction or refer me to someone.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"
 
RE: child custody?

It depends on what state you're in. I've been thru two divorces involving children. All are grown now and out of the house, so I think I've encountered just about every possible secenario you can imagine. If you want to PM me some of your pertinent info, I'll try to help.

Lee
 
RE: child custody?

Talk to a lawyer. Really. My custody battle was a long time ago, and I don't know how the laws have changed. However, even back then it was not granted that the mother always gets custody in Illinois(thus the battle ;-) ).
 
RE: child custody?

The first thing to do if it hasn't been done already is establish paternity (in the event the child was born out of wedlock). From there you can establish a parenting plan. Your state may have services available to you for free. Check out your local DSHS website or Child Support Enforcement office.

If you and your ex can agree on a parenting plan you will have a lot fewer headaches. If not, then you're looking at a lot of hassle as well as expense.

If you do not establish a parenting plan and you are not the custodial parent, she can take your child anywhere she likes without you having an opinion on the matter, even if you are obligated to pay child support.

You can PM me if you would like more info.

Kale
 
RE: child custody?

Thanks for the quick responses guys/gals. I knew I could count on you. Well it looks like I'm in for a long battle but in the mean time I have some research to do. Thanks again.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"
 
RE: child custody?

Very funny! What good is that now? I still want children, I'll just have to be a little more careful next time on with whom. At least I didn't marry her.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"
 
RE: child custody?

Picking up where jd left off ~ ~

http://www.condomsexpress.com

Seriously, not being legally married to the child's Mom, really presents this in a different light.

You REALLY need a lawyer! If you do not know whom to go to, go to the yellow-pages of your phone book and looking under LAWYERS, proceed to the sub-heading of Divorce & Family Law.

Now, I know you were not married, but this is where Custody Law is headquartered at. If you two lived together as man & wife for over 7 years - other factors can come into play that would be beneficial to you.

You can also look under a heading of Juvenile Law. Very "niche" indeed, so you'll need to look in a big major city to find 1 or 2 such specialists in this field. How old is the child ???

Laws can & do vary by State, also. Are YOU in the same State as the child & Mom ??

Before you hand over any "retainer" money, ask for references so that you don't get:

Dewey, Cheatum & Howe

Good Luck To You :)
 
RE: child custody?

Thanks Sandy,

My daughter is only 6 months old. They now live about 6 hours south of me but they're still in the same state. We only lived together for about 4 years.

David O'Donnell
'97 Mark VIII LSC "Maxine II" (RIP Maxine I, 5-16-03)
'91 Mark VII BB "Monica"
'67 Thunderbird "Molly"
 
RE: child custody?

Dewey, Cheatum & Howe
LMAO

'98 Pristine Pearlescent LSC
'93 V-10 Twin Turbo Money Pit (The MonsterMark)
'93 Collecting Dust
Bryan
 
RE: child custody?

Protocol at Law Firms is a BIG thing !

Phone Rings .......

Pick-Up: "Hello and thank you for calling Cohen, Cohen & Cohen Attorneys-At-Law, may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, I was recommened to call Mr. Cohen regarding a divorce."

Pick-Up: "Oh, I'm so sorry - Mr. Cohen is in Florida playing Golf on vacation."

Caller: "Well......Could someone else help me? Perhaps the other Mr. Cohen?"

Pick-Up: "I am sorry, but Mr. Cohen is in the hospital recovering from surgury"

Caller: "Well, ah, >>> then is the other Mr. Cohen there?

Pick-Up: "Speaking"

At $300.00 an hour, it just took you 90-seconds to talk to a lawyer, so your first $7.50 is gone on the "Hello" :) Imagine the Testamonials!!!
 
RE: child custody?

That's why they publish books that teach Dads how to do it themselves, and have organizations like Devoted Dads to offer free counsel. Just like anything else in this world, it's up to you to educate yourself on the subject.

Kale
 
RE: child custody?

If you are asking question's, it sound's like you are already having problems. I get stuck dealing with this stuff on an almost daily basis. The best suggestion I could make is be nice, nice, nice. The law's in this country are biased for the woman. Anything she asks for from a judge she will get. Even if the judge gives you visitation, that does not mean that she will let you see the kid. It happen's every day. The cop's can not and will not help you. It is all civil. The only thing you can do is set a court date to talk to the judge who will tell her to let you see the kid. You cant withold child support even if she refuses to let you see your child. In that case the system decided to make the police get involved. Whatever she asks for, give her. Tell her it is important that the two of you maintain a good working relationship for the kid. When she call's you at 10 pm to come get the kid so she can go out on a date, do it or she will hold it against you in the future. You are now fighting a losing battle with all of the cards stacked against you. The best thing you can do is damage control for the next 18 to 21 years.

On a side note. If you are working overtime for a few extra buck's, stop now or you will be paying support on overtime funds. Plan on being drug into court every year with her demanding a raise so she can buy a bigger house for her and her new boyfriend to live in.
 
RE: child custody?

David,

I think what flamark said is pretty much what we talked about. I agree 100%, especially the being nice part. I tried the other route, and you're always going to lose. No matter how much it grates you've got to do it. Quit that second job yesterday.

Lee
 
RE: child custody?

Guys, guys guys -- remember, whereever the ex lives, his daughter lives too.

I'm sure my ex thought it was real funny that I could only afford to live in a dump, and not be able to afford anything (when he skipped out on child support, etc), but what he forgot to remember (as did his "friends" who told him to take cash under the table), is that his kid lived with me -- if I lived in a dump, so did the kid.

David, don't let your daughter suffer just to get revenge on the ex - in the long run, it's not worth it.
 
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