Acura: Zzzzz.
Audi: Unintended Acceleration, Our German Asses!
BMW: The Motor Vehicle That Is Most Great To Drive, Jah?
Buick: More Quiet Than Your Coffin.
Cadillac: Now We're Goin' For Angles!
Chevrolet: At Least The Corvette Rocks!
Chrysler: Are We German? Nein!
Dodge: We Kicked Plymouth's Ass!
Ford: Fine On Rainy Days.
Honda: Wonderful Future Life. Be Prepare!
HUMMER: So Big, It'll Get You One.
Hyundai: Our Cars Wide. Besides The Point.
Infiniti: (sounds of ocean waves)
Isuzu: Joe Isuzu Is Dead Already. Please Come Buy Our Cars.
Jaguar: Remember The Past.
Jeep: Ruining Forests One Backwards Hillbilly At A Time.
Land Rover: A Queen's Car.
Lexus: We Are Going To Kick Mercedes In The Ass So Hard, Germany's Gonna Start Another God-damned War! Booyah!
Lincoln: Help Us Reach Higher; We're Stuck.
Mazda: Putt-putt.
Mercedes-Benz: Germany Is Strong Once Again!
Mercury: Old Is Good.
MINI: Better Than The Vicker's Lorry.
Mitsubishi: From Zeros To Heros.
Nissan: To Qualify Please Note.
Pontiac: We Build Excrement!
Porsche: Driving Like An Ass Makes The Ladies Want You.
Saab: Big Enough For Your Hooterglaven.
Saturn: Our Division Hasn't Closed. But It Should Have. Did You See The Ion? What A Turd.
Scion: Get Laid In Your Own Car.
Subaru: Subame? No! Subaru!
Suzuki: Good God, We Make Cars, Too!
Toyota: Dead Men Beware. Energy Is Power Here.
Volkswagen: Electrical Problems: Nein!
Volvo: Boxes Are Sexy.
ALSO:
Acura:V8's are the Antichrist.
Audi: We want to be Mercedes, bad quality and all.
BMW: You can't have this much fun in a Lexus. Yet.
Buick: Proud member of he AARP!
Cadillac: We rocked, we sucked, we rock again.
Chevrolet: Oh hell, go buy a Honda.
Chrysler: Yesterday's Merecedes today!
Dodge: song - "I've got big balls, he's got big balls...."
Ford: Trying to lose market share faster than GM.
Honda: song - "Little miss, little miss, little miss can't be wrong..."
HUMMER: Small penis anyone?
Hyundai: Growing faster than Michael Jackson's jimmy at Disneyland!
Infiniti: BMW-lite.
Isuzu: No we haven't gone out of business yet!
Jaguar: A car your wife will look great in.
Jeep: A Hummer with less chest hair.
Land Rover: Jeeps for trust fund kids.
Lexus: We're so perfect it hurts.
Lincoln: Nobody does Ford better.
Mazda: If you're driving a convertible right now, YOU OWE US BIG-TIME!
Mercedes-Benz: So;r^ry, th%ere see#m to be s@ome electr*ica'l iss$ues he?re...
or
Brittany trusts us with her baby!
Mercury: Why am I here?
MINI: Can you say MARKETING?
Mitsubishi: We have the Eclipse...
Nissan: We love you Carlos!
Pontiac: Have you seen the new Solstice? Check out the brand new Solstice. Hey we've got a hot new car called the Solstice. Did we mention the Solstice?
Porsche: Recommended by 9 out of 10 Doctors.
Renault: Paging doctor Ghosn...
Saab: Helping GM lose lose money.
Saturn: Hey, we're better than Uranus! On second thought...
Scion: It's a Toyota!
Subaru: 4-wheel drive for dummies.
Suzuki: Pretend you're driving one of our motorcycles, they're actually good.
Toyota: We are now the leaders of the free world, please hand over your souls and any hopes for driving excitement.
Volkswagen: We may suck, but we look good doing it. At least we used to.
Volvo: A little more sexy, a little less safe.
