I am sorry to have to make this post, but circumstances demand it.
As of 12:00 PM this Saturday the 31st of May, I am taking over sole possession of the LOD. It seems that there has been a conspiracy going on behind member's backs. It has come to my attention that a lot of high ranking LOD members suddenly left town and are holed up in some town in Pennsylvania. Obviously, they are planning some nefarious plot to exclude a majority of the membership. I can not let this happen.
The server has been relocated to Easter Island and is being guarded by attack cats. I expect reprisals so I thought this a safe plan of action. I also have a cadre of lawyers standing by should they be needed.
Of course there have to be some changes made. As we all know, things can't continue the way they were. I have given this a lot of thought and have come up with what I think is a dandy manifesto which should make everybody happy. (especially me)
THE MANIFESTO
I (Arthur W. Brown) will assume the duties of CEO, CFO, COO, president, and all those other silly positions such as treasurer,etc.
It will, of course, be my way or the highway. Dissention will not be tolerated. We will have fun. (I decree it)
SOME GROUNDRULES
1. All members must own and operate stock vehicles. This pertains to mechanical modifications only, appearance modifications will be tolerated. All previously installed modifications must be removed.
2. Members with black cars will be required to pay double dues.
3. A vendor section will be set up with vendors selling the following approved appearance mods: fender skirts, rear deck wings (12 in. minimum), widgets (front or rear), mudflaps, fake convertible tops, chrome wheelwell lips, and any other silly crap I can come up with.
4. Members must purchase at least one offical LOD air freshener. (either LSC or base, your choice) I have contacted a vender going by the name of AWB Enterprises for this puprose.
5. Berets, fezzes, or any head gear used by the Village People will not be tolerated at chapter events.
6. Canadians may join but will be limited to junior status and will have to pay double dues.
7. Members from Alabamia must have an up-to-date visa at all times. So there is no misunderstanding, this also pertains to members from Alabama and Wyoming.
8. Usernames must be alpha-numeric. None of those sissy characters.
9. Members will be required to visit the following sites:
http://tinpan.fortunecity.com/ebony/546/arfurgallery.html
http://www.arthurbrownmusic.com/
Buying the album is a requisite. (goes without saying)
http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?PID=1393270&frm=sh_google
10. If asked a direct question by your exulted leader, the only acceptable responses are 1.) You're danmed tootin', or 2.) No freakin' way.
11. People whose first name starts with either x or z, will not be allowed to join. Also, no Polly either. (the bitch broke my heart)
12. The yearly club meeting will be held in Raleigh. (the center of the Lincoln universe) It will be held in July to coincide with my annual Marlin Tournament and Buffalo Shoot. Attendence (with $45.00 sacrifice plus gratuity) will me mandatory to maintain membership.
Superstition demands I stop here but stay tuned for more requests (OK, demands) in the future.
Your leader (LOL-which now means Lord Of Lincolns)
Arthur W. Brown
As of 12:00 PM this Saturday the 31st of May, I am taking over sole possession of the LOD. It seems that there has been a conspiracy going on behind member's backs. It has come to my attention that a lot of high ranking LOD members suddenly left town and are holed up in some town in Pennsylvania. Obviously, they are planning some nefarious plot to exclude a majority of the membership. I can not let this happen.
The server has been relocated to Easter Island and is being guarded by attack cats. I expect reprisals so I thought this a safe plan of action. I also have a cadre of lawyers standing by should they be needed.
Of course there have to be some changes made. As we all know, things can't continue the way they were. I have given this a lot of thought and have come up with what I think is a dandy manifesto which should make everybody happy. (especially me)
THE MANIFESTO
I (Arthur W. Brown) will assume the duties of CEO, CFO, COO, president, and all those other silly positions such as treasurer,etc.
It will, of course, be my way or the highway. Dissention will not be tolerated. We will have fun. (I decree it)
SOME GROUNDRULES
1. All members must own and operate stock vehicles. This pertains to mechanical modifications only, appearance modifications will be tolerated. All previously installed modifications must be removed.
2. Members with black cars will be required to pay double dues.
3. A vendor section will be set up with vendors selling the following approved appearance mods: fender skirts, rear deck wings (12 in. minimum), widgets (front or rear), mudflaps, fake convertible tops, chrome wheelwell lips, and any other silly crap I can come up with.
4. Members must purchase at least one offical LOD air freshener. (either LSC or base, your choice) I have contacted a vender going by the name of AWB Enterprises for this puprose.
5. Berets, fezzes, or any head gear used by the Village People will not be tolerated at chapter events.
6. Canadians may join but will be limited to junior status and will have to pay double dues.
7. Members from Alabamia must have an up-to-date visa at all times. So there is no misunderstanding, this also pertains to members from Alabama and Wyoming.
8. Usernames must be alpha-numeric. None of those sissy characters.
9. Members will be required to visit the following sites:
http://tinpan.fortunecity.com/ebony/546/arfurgallery.html
http://www.arthurbrownmusic.com/
Buying the album is a requisite. (goes without saying)
http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?PID=1393270&frm=sh_google
10. If asked a direct question by your exulted leader, the only acceptable responses are 1.) You're danmed tootin', or 2.) No freakin' way.
11. People whose first name starts with either x or z, will not be allowed to join. Also, no Polly either. (the bitch broke my heart)
12. The yearly club meeting will be held in Raleigh. (the center of the Lincoln universe) It will be held in July to coincide with my annual Marlin Tournament and Buffalo Shoot. Attendence (with $45.00 sacrifice plus gratuity) will me mandatory to maintain membership.
Superstition demands I stop here but stay tuned for more requests (OK, demands) in the future.
Your leader (LOL-which now means Lord Of Lincolns)
Arthur W. Brown
