Only in America.......

A

Art

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can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink.

do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions.

do people order double cheese burgers, a large fries, and a diet coke.

do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage.

do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

do we put hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".

do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braile lettering.
 
RE: Only in America.......

I am just trying to prove that I am funnier than Norm. Even if I do have to steal all my material.
 
RE: Only in America.......

Ok you are funnier but I'm smarter and better looking. Of course that really doesn't say much.
 
RE: Only in America.......

do people order double cheese burgers, a large fries, and a diet coke.


They may be diabetic. Sometimes I like to splurge and eat McDonald's but I can't drink reagular soda. Don't make fun of me, even though I'm an easy target. :)
 
RE: Only in America.......

My friend Cletus (that's a nickname) weighs in a bit upwards of 300 lbs. We'll go to burger king, and he'll order a double whopper with cheese, an extra large order of fries, and a diet coke. You know, you have to watch, those extra calories in that regular pop just ain't good for you!
 
RE: Only in America.......

Dave, please bring Cletus to Carlisle. I have GOT to meet this guy.
 
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